heart disection

So, I know we discussed a lot of this in class, but i just feel like reiterating my view. Well, first off... I either go into a gory situation, like a movie or dissection, without any thought and feel fine or I walk in feeling wearing and queasy. It is always a crap shoot, and of course this time, in the case of the heart dissection, i was queasy... Because I was so, I just sat there for a period of time before I began butchering it. In that time, I really got to think... where did these hearts come from? How many did the school get and how many have we gone through? It just bothered me to be holding the heart of another animal. I literally had it in my grasp, dangling there... bloody and cold. I guess this was a realization for me... I know humanity is evolving, but this was the straw on my back. I was holding a once living organism's heart. Its heart... what you love with, what is easily broken but then again at the same time saved by love... What beats 80 times a minute for the entirety of your life... Granted it was a pig, but I still related it to a human. I gave the pig humanistic qualities, the ability to love, and of course to feel pain! Yes, the human race needs to feed, and evolve... but it really upsets me when large industries and business make a dollar over raising a living thing from birth. And that is not the bruit of it... these animals are kept in cells, not knowing what is it to see the sky, or run "wild" in a field (as lame as that sounds, but it is true). And here I am promoting this by sitting there in a room full of kids butchering the hell out of these heart for their own entertainment and inquiries. The kids across from my group were cutting their heart up into tiny pieces and making crude comments and jokes about it. The teacher running the lecture came over, took the heart away just to return with a new one... It was if she were handing the hearts out like gum. Anyone want a piece? Then my partner told me "you just have to not think about what you're doing, and do it." True, and as I put my moral values aside, I just began cutting what was once a living organism, now just an inanimate object. I can butcher things when I don't think about it or care... but that initially meant I had to lock up my feelings. It was ridiculous I thought. Then it got me thinking... what if everyone was shut up, and mechanically put to work? I don't know. Overall, I am just so used to "dissecting" things in lab, but this dissection was different for me. Now, I am not turning into some activist that is going on strike or something, I am not even a vegetarian... but I did have a vegetarian wrap today! Just the experience changed my view, but in all honesty... nothing will change, but the guilt that I felt. Overall, I guess one does what you have to in life.